Scary vs. dangerous
A few people have asked me, “Aren’t you scared about going to France?” and most of them have been surprised when I acknowledge that yes, I am. If you’re scared, why do it?
I had a fascinating conversation on a run last spring with my friend Alyxe on how easy it is to confuse feeling scared with the actual presence of danger. Just because you feel fear, does not mean there is danger. For example, I am scared of the unknown I will encounter in France, of communicating ineffectively, of offending people, of feeling lonely where I live. There is nothing inherently dangerous about any of that, and I should realize that.
At the same time, fear is still a valid emotion, and I don’t want to imply that one should never feel scared if there is no danger present.
When I lived in Spain Elizabeth and I would often walk home late in the evening, about a 10-minute trip from the city center to our neighborhood. The crime rate in Cáceres is extremely low, to the point of being nearly nonexistent. We had to muster up a bit of healthy fear to motivate us to remain vigilant for shadowy figures on our route. Fear can be an excellent motivator like that. Especially in cases of real potential danger, we remember to buckle our seatbelts, to use the buddy system, or to learn how to decrease your risk (by wearing subtle clothing, for example, in a high crime area).
I am motivated to read about Montluçon and about France, to study my French and mumble French conversations to myself when no one’s watching, to remember the culture lessons I took from living in Spain and from KPIC, and to locate a positive attitude and remember that although picking up and movin to France is scary, there's nothing inherently dangerous about ths adventure.
Last night I had a moment of clear thought where I just didn’t care about what I was temporarily leaving behind and at the same time felt bold and independent enough to deal with whatever I encountered in France. I felt ruthless and cold. Then my range of emotions came back and I felt so much better.
I had a fascinating conversation on a run last spring with my friend Alyxe on how easy it is to confuse feeling scared with the actual presence of danger. Just because you feel fear, does not mean there is danger. For example, I am scared of the unknown I will encounter in France, of communicating ineffectively, of offending people, of feeling lonely where I live. There is nothing inherently dangerous about any of that, and I should realize that.
At the same time, fear is still a valid emotion, and I don’t want to imply that one should never feel scared if there is no danger present.
When I lived in Spain Elizabeth and I would often walk home late in the evening, about a 10-minute trip from the city center to our neighborhood. The crime rate in Cáceres is extremely low, to the point of being nearly nonexistent. We had to muster up a bit of healthy fear to motivate us to remain vigilant for shadowy figures on our route. Fear can be an excellent motivator like that. Especially in cases of real potential danger, we remember to buckle our seatbelts, to use the buddy system, or to learn how to decrease your risk (by wearing subtle clothing, for example, in a high crime area).
I am motivated to read about Montluçon and about France, to study my French and mumble French conversations to myself when no one’s watching, to remember the culture lessons I took from living in Spain and from KPIC, and to locate a positive attitude and remember that although picking up and movin to France is scary, there's nothing inherently dangerous about ths adventure.
Last night I had a moment of clear thought where I just didn’t care about what I was temporarily leaving behind and at the same time felt bold and independent enough to deal with whatever I encountered in France. I felt ruthless and cold. Then my range of emotions came back and I felt so much better.
posted by Paige @ 12:27 AM
3 Comments:
At 4:26 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hey, it's Kristin. I just found your site, and I just wanted to give you props on those insights. People kept asking me if I was scared to travel on my own, and I had a lot of the same fears that you expressed here - the not communicating, the unknown, the loneliness, etc. But I think the fear is almost what makes it worth doing - if there's no struggle, no inner battle, is it worth it? Well, yes, of course it is, but knowing that you've conquered those fears makes it so much more worthwhile.
At 6:45 PM,
Paige said…
Kristin, that's exactly what I was trying to say, but you managed to get the point across so much more gracefully!
It's great to hear from you again. :)
At 5:35 AM,
Anonymous said…
great entry! Good Luck in France- you'll be fine and get into a groove in no time! I'm sorry about your marathon...I keep having bad luck running here too- it rains non-stop for weeks, I keep getting stupid colds/flu type things, plus I don't have anyone my speed to run with me (I wish I could run by myself really well like you)
Anyway, I also loved your entry about the x-c team...I miss them so much! I really want to be there this year and I'm sure next yr. will be great- I really want more time with the girls there now!
sorry so long, I love you and miss you very much! keep in touch! xoxo -Katie
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